My Heart Hurts...

It's so much easier to talk about the fun things in Cebu like jeepneys and scuba diving... the light things... the things that don't make your heart hurt to think about. It's not easy to try to explain things you yourself don't understand. But, that wouldn't give a true reflection of living in Cebu. So, I will do my best to share more about things that I see, think about, and am saddened by.

Today, on my taxi ride from work, I had three street children come up to my window and start singing in the hopes that I would give them a few coins. Its so hard to know what to do... everything inside me wants to do something to help. How do you say 'no' to children who are begging and telling you they want food? How can you ignore them as they tap on your window or walk alongside you? But a more difficult question is what can you do to help? What is the best way to help? Is it to give them money? How do you know they get to keep the money or if they have to give it over to the pimp that "runs" the begging ring of children... How do you know if they will use it to buy food? I wrestled with these questions for a while and decided that I would always try to have granola bars or fruit or something with me that I could give these children whenever I encountered them. The other night we were out walking around and I was able to give away four granola bars to street children. But then, today as I sat in my cab, after I rolled down my window to give the children the apple I had in my backpack, I was sickened to watch as they went to the side of the road to give it to a man who was standing nearby. I wanted to cry as I watched him walk away with the apple while those sweet, dirty, barefoot, beautiful children continued to beg... my heart hurts and I have no answers...